LETTER: UKIP boost in battle to succeed Sir Peter....I’ll ring the doctor!

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Reading about your article “UKIP’ boost in battle to succeed Sir Peter”, I made the decision to hide the Horncastle News from my loyal master.

You see, he has this thing about the “Bold Nigel of UKIP”, always telling me: “Nigel says what a lot of people think” and “He’s got a bit of charisma” - whatever that is. I hope it’s not catching!

The “boss” is always chewing on about getting out of Europe - “We can do without the House of Commons if the EU keep telling us what to do.”

“Then again”, he goes on, “What about our none existent immigration policy. We’ll soon be full up in England and is this the reason we are using up good agricultural land to bang up more housing willy nilly?”

Once I was waiting expectantly to be fed and the “boss” stood there with my rations in his hand, looking vacantly into the distance.

“Come on,” I said, “Let’s be having the grub. What is the matter with you?”

All he kept saying to himself was “There’s been a sea of change in the country the last couple of years. A sea of change.”

I had to gave a sharp bite of his hand to bring him back to normal (or as near to normal as he’s going to get).

I tell you folks, I’m worried about him. He’s even wandering around talking to himself again. “Shall I take Ladbrokes 5-2, shall I take the 5-2?”

I’ll just ring the doctor again....

Cyril The Cat

Woodhall Spa