LETTER: An alternative look at Woodhall Spa’s litter

It is a bit disappointing to hear one of our latest immigrants to Woodhall Spa complaining about the state of tidiness in the village.

Personally I find most of the centre of the village is kept fairly tidy, although I do defer to those with better eyesight than mine.

The problems are mostly in the outlying lanes such as Monument Road and Stixwould Station Road.

There you can find the most popular beverages in the village.

John Smith’s bitter seems to be the most frequently found tin, although Carlsberg lager is a creditable seconds.

Although a bit unscientific, the distance from the village shops where booze can be obtained, to where the offending empties are found can be regarded as the guzzling time of an average tinful of beer.

Of course after seconds have to be added to allow for the car windows to open but then the missiles are on their way.

Why, I remember in the Spring of this year the dyke between Monument Road and Glen Lodge Caravan park was cleaned out and the contents were left on the bank top.

There were loads of ale tins and bottles of the plastic variety amongst all the mud.

Luckily I had the Caped Crusader with me, AKA Cyril the Cat.

He was put to work and filled all the bags I had brought with us.

Do you know, the young lad found over 150 beer tins, plus a fair heap of plastic bottles.

Admittedly, Cyril was not too thrilled with his job, but he always says: “You might as well pick up the rubbish yourself and stick it in a bag. It’s quicker than just complaining about it’.

Also we ousted the complaint about the dead wildlife left to rot outside the medical practice.

Again, Cyril would ask your correspondent if he/she definitely checked to see if the wildlife was actually dead, as on some busy days there can be a bit of a queue waiting outside the waiting room.

Cyril also thinks that it’s a bit personal when your correspondent states ‘Even the verges are overgrown and badly tendered’.

‘That’s surely a matter for the vicar and congregation’.

Cyril also says that it might be a good idea if a ‘volunteer brigade’ could be formed, to go forth with bags and collect all the bottle and tins in the surrounding ledgebottoms.

‘Phew. I can’t keep up with Cyril’s brain, can you?’

Otherwise we agree with everything your correspondent says.

A Nonymouse

Woodhall Spa.